Fuck This Question

This site asks me to define my narrative. Fuck this question. I have no idea. WTF is a narrative.

Jeremy

I’m drowning

In an eddy

Endlessly

Drunk spinney

No relief

No reprieve

From my sea of me all me

So sunk in, can’t see a shore

Eyes frozen blue search no more

A hopeful heart is nevermore

With one last beat I beg, implore

For sharks that lurk

In thick dark murk

My great white smirk

I’ll love that hurt

That bitingly

Would drain from me

The bile in me

That poisons me

So Shakespearey

Romantically

Longingly

Wish fully

Finally

Peacefully

Dreamily

Dramatically

Will end maybe

When jaws of life give death and free

So foolishly

Like always

I wait for it

To destroy me

Yet nobody

Will end my me

They never see

Will never be

Invisibly

Ignore my bleed

Won’t save me

From my dark sea

It’s only me

Always me

Eternally

Hatefully

Dark starry

Gaspingly

So dizzy

This damn eddy

Where’s Jeremy

To speak to me

To help me flee

Meet destiny

And die asea

Heroically

It’s all I need

I long to leave

End my grief

Sooth my seethe

Stop naïve

Kill belief

Yet…I breathe

I don’t know why

I inhale – why?

I try – but why?

I kick – god why?

Gulp air – fuck why?

Surface – scream why?

Despair deny

I don’t know why

I hate the why

The fucking why

It’s treason lie

Churns inside

Won’t subside

Won’t just die

Stays high tide

Afloat, alive

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512

I don’t know how to live between
The darkest dark
And evergreen
A paradox
I can’t unlock
I tick and tock
And cry a lot
How do I learn
To lose all hope
Yet not let go
Not sink so low
To all I know
All I hate so
I want to go
I want to know
Another road
I haven’t sowed
That no one showed
Me to or fro
I’m all alone
Fuck I must go